“It was a meal that seemed to be calling out to me. How can you say no to eleven secret herbs and spices which are washed down by tea featuring a blend of sixteen kinds of leaves and fruity goodies?” asks 27 year old Liz Austin as she describes her latest foray into exotic dining.
“Plenty of people tell me that deep-fried chicken is far from healthy, but I like to think that the herbs must count for something. I mean, it would be super unhealthy if it didn’t have any herbs, right?” she ponders. “As for the Asahi tea, I thought that my tastebuds were at risk of being overwhelmed by the blend of sixteen carefully selected natural ingredients. I won’t lie; I was nervous before I drank it. My senses aren’t as refined as those of the Japanese, so I wasn’t sure if I could handle such a complex beverage.”
Without the oriental conditioning behind her, Austin took a step into the unknown. So, was it a step too far?
“Absolutely not! I may not have been the first westerner to try this particular type of meal, but I believe that I’m the first to get loads of online karma for reporting on it. I gave it a five-star rating, and I would urge all of your readers to try this amazing taste sensation. People shouldn’t be afraid to try this kind of thing either. And they should do it soon too, before major corporation shrinkflation hits the variety of herbs and minerals that they offer.”
Not everyone has responded positively to Austin’s accomplishment. So far one lone expert voice has challenged her decision. “This is what we call a choc des goûts, a clash of tastes,” explained local chicken connoisseur Shitao Hawase. “Let’s look at the facts; chicken seasoned with eleven herbs and spices combined with a blend of sixteen varieties of natural goodness!? My goodness! In this case, she has done her palate a disservice, and I fear that it’ll become a trend among impressionable young people.”
Austin is taking such feedback in her stride, perhaps weighed down by other matters. Despite the apparent success of the KFC & Asahi tea combination, the dispatch ALT from Alberta is finding that there can be an emotional trough between big moments.“To be honest, I’m a little depressed now, like that European guy who walked along the rope between the World Trade Centre buildings, or like that teenager who Demi Moore kissed as a birthday present. Can anything top what I’ve just done!?”
