Pick-Up Artist Jake Hamilton answers your questions

Our early June article (“White women in Japan ‘just need to lower their standards’ ”) has been met with great interest and has resulted in our inbox being inundated with responses from around the world.  While many responses are not fit to be printed here, we have asked Jake Hamilton to address the questions which we consider to be rational and worthwhile asking.  Fortunately, Hamilton readily agreed to provide written responses to those questions, so it’s over to you guys…

Natalie Hill:  It sounds like you really crashed and burned.  What does humiliation taste like?

JH:  Well, it’s true that I didn’t get to ravish that chick in my apartment, but I managed to get a couple of pics of her from a distance.  So, when I went back to my pad I was still able to pleasure myself while looking at her face.  Having a reality wank is not a sex crime.  It’s not even a victimless crime.  So, the whole experience wasn’t a complete loss.  It was more like I was losing 4-0, but then still managed to get a late consolation goal before being warmly applauded off the ground by opposition fans.

Sean Rivers:  Why don’t you leave the white women and go for Brazilians and Peruvians?  That’s where the action is.

JH:  Brazilians and Peruvians?  I agree that they are dynamite in the sack.  However, they’re also dynamite outside the bedroom.  Apparently, they’ll go nuts if they don’t get sex in the morning.  They’ll trash your apartment, if they don’t get the attention that they demand.  I find that terrifying.  I mean, a women might be sexy as hell on a Friday night, but they can look rough as guts when they wake up the next day.  What happens if I’m not sexually attracted to the woman when I wake up?  She’ll be smashing up my tv screen and pouring vegetable oil over my sofa.

Lee Marsh:  You live in Japan yet you chase white women!?  You sound like someone going to a Texas steakhouse and ordering a vegetarian meal.  What’s up with that? 

JH:  Variety is the spice of life.  While I heartily believe that olive-skinned babes make the world go around, on the odd occasion I still crave the sexual partnership of someone from my demographic background.  For some gaijin guys, white women are their kryptonite, serving as a reminder of the girls back in high school that didn’t want to know them.  I’m not like those losers though.  I like to give white women something that they miss, but then I want to be the one holding all the cards in the relationship.  They want me to attend to their whims and moods?  That’s not going to happen in Japan.  I’m going be moving them on before they get the opportunity to sulk on my couch.  

Sebastian Fields:  Have you ever managed to pick up on a rainy Tuesday night in Nagoya?

JH:  I’ve never been to Nagoya.  Why would I?  

Kate Mountain:  What’s wrong with being a marine?

JH:  I should have expected this kind of question.  I guess nothing is actually wrong with being a marine.  I applaud them for the role that they play in protecting our rights, and they’re free to defend my assets and investments with all their might and technology.

Daphne Sandilands:  How on earth can you handle going without sex?  You come across as being highly sexually charged to the point of being addicted.

JH:  You might say that, but there are times when my sex-drive frightens me and I force myself to put things on ice.  That’s not easy for me to do, particularly when I can enter a train carriage and quickly scope that there are half a dozen women who would like me to approach them.

Patricia Lake:  What’s wrong with being a male kindergarten teacher?

JH:  Their job itself is very, very unmanly.  Having said that, they have incredible access to meeting MILFs, so in one way I do envy them.  They don’t have to do much legwork in order to hook up.  What they do need to do is take care which women they chase.  It’s so easy for them to slip up and go after a woman who is in a healthy relationship with a man she loves, and that kind of woman can get all moralistic and get a guy fired, when she should really be grateful for the attention.

Ritchie Cliff:  As a man, I felt disgusted to read about how you assumed that a woman would fall for you just because you had a plush apartment.  You had such a presumptuous attitude that I’m glad you dipped out.

JH:  This is actually a Q&A session.  Rather than making a statement, you’re supposed to ask a question.  Let me tell you though, I’ll get far more trim with my no-bullshit attitude than you’ll ever get with your self-righteous approach.  Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with women at the barricade isn’t going to get you laid. Face it – women want a pimp, not a simp.

Hayley Spring:  It sounds like you’re a man who’s confident in his sexual constitution.  Can you give us a glimpse into what drives you in that regard?

JH:  Sure.  I’m not a fetishist or anything like that.  I prefer women with a good set of jugs and a tappable ass.  If anything, I’m a bottom patter.  I enjoy caressing and fondling asses.  Just give me a broad in a tight skirt, with perhaps a hint of a visible panty line, and I’m happy.  I’ll do girls over a dining table with their clothes on, or in bed with their clothes off.  I’m versatile, and I act on my sexual instincts. I know what women want before they do, and they like that.

Shannon Cave:  What would you say to the woman who turned you down if you were to come face-to-face with her again?

JH:  Well, by now I’d assume that she’s changed her mind.  Therefore, I think I’d tell her that I understand and forgive her initial reluctance (to have full sex with a stranger), but that I’d still be open to giving her the opportunity to come back to my apartment. 

And that’s where we’ll end this particular Q&A session.  Many thanks to all of you who have contributed decent questions.  To those of you who sent abuse and outrage, try to be a little more cheery and think more about others who are just trying to go about their lives in this lonely world.    

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