Tech-Wiz Hirogari Seibyo is back to answer readers’ questions

A little over twelve months ago we introduced computer maestro Hirogari Seibyo to all of you, our legion of readers from around the world (“Tech-Wiz quietly achieves anti-mosaic breakthrough” – Nov. 2019).  Interest in Seibyo’s situation has remained high.  Every month we receive enquiries into how he is faring, and whether he has developed any new programs that could benefit porn enthusiasts.  So, over lunch at a Peruvian restaurant in Jiyugaoka, Seibyo answered some of your more thoughtful questions.  Once again, it’s over to you…

Stewart Barber:  How are you doing financially these days?

HS:  Remarkably well.  One former college buddy discovered that I was the guy who everyone was talking about.  He’s a big time financier and he immediately recruited me and now I’m raking it in as his go-to for IT solutions. 

Haley Brewer:  Is there any hope that you can make money from your invention?

HS:  I’m quietly confident.  My financier buddy fully supports my mosaic busting research.  In fact, he’s got a legal team searching for loopholes in the law so that we can launch an app legally and develop revenue streams.

Rupert Falconer:  Where does your interest in porn come from?

HS:  To be honest, it comes from many places.  I have an aunt who was very hands-on with me right when I was discovering sex.  I got an erection when she was stroking my back rather sensually one day.  So, after that I went out and looked for a porn actress who looked similar to my aunt in order to satisfy my sexual curiosity.

Tiffany Candler:  What part of the anatomy are you focusing on with your research at the moment?

HS:  The clitoris.  Right now I’m programming my app to identify so many varieties of the upper region of the vagina.  Big buds, small buds, and wonky buds… We’re really making progress in accurately reproducing these cute little things.

Ronnie Faulkner:  Are you a uniform man?  If so, which kind?

HS:  You know, I’ve never really got into uniforms as a fetish.  I’ve always seen the bloomer genre, in particular, as a sign of repressed intellectual growth.  Having said that, I’m a patriot and I love the sight of a young woman in a yukata being ravished.

Sean Farrier:  Do you have any advice for youngsters who want to follow in your footsteps?

HS:  Just to keep having a go, and not giving up.  When kids start out on guitar, they usually start with the obvious chord riffs like “Wild Thing” or “Blitzkrieg Bop”.  In a similar vein, focusing on large cocks is probably the best way for a budding mosaic buster to practice.  So, start with the basics.

Ray Muller:  If I stick something up my bum when I flog off, would that make me homosexual?

HS:  I’m not sure why you’d be asking me this question.  I would say that all depends on what kind of porn you were watching.

Eliza Fuller:  Have you ever thought about developing something that could be useful in education, or how about something that would help the disabled?

HS:  (sighs) This kind of question again.  (deeper sigh) Look, there are plenty of cherry boys out there who may never, ever, see a real vagina.  The technology that I’ve created gives them the chance to see what pussy looks like.  As for helping the disabled, I’m sure that there are some slow learners and physically handicapped who are using my creation to get horny.  At any rate, I’ve probably done more than you to help these people.  How many handicapped gentlemen have you flashed your tits at or jerked off?

Noel Thacker:  Do you think your invention will encourage actresses, like Ai Uehara, to come out of retirement to add a coda to their careers?

HS:  While it would truly be wonderful if that were to happen, Ai Uehara would have to make some tough decisions.  It’d be a shame to see her try to continue doing schoolgirl stuff, but she could perhaps move into the role of a teacher, a mother, or an aunt of a student.  Personally, I’d love to see her getting into sophisticated scenarios and donning stylish dresses or kimono.  At the end of the day, however, that’s entirely up to her and whichever Pachinko boss she’s currently living with.   

Fred Granger:  How do see the future of porn, particularly from a Japanese perspective.

HS:  I’d like to think that there is a future there for young people who wanted to have movie careers, but weren’t quite good enough, and then had trouble finding other kinds of work, and then decided that the only way to get ahead in life was to get it on in front of the cameras.  It’d be sad if this narrow avenue to financial independence were to come to a dead end.

And that’s where we’ll leave it for the time being.  Once again we’d like to thank Hirogari for taking time out of his busy schedule to talk to us.

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