Japan’s space agency JAXA has announced that the organization is about to receive official acknowledgement for having the best section of the International Space Station.
Although the exact nature of the award remains vague, JAXA bigwigs, television presenters, and random bigots interviewed outside Shinbashi Station all looked pretty excited about the news. “It’s always a pleasure when Japan receives due international recognition,” said one lush who added, “Although I generally don’t value anything from overseas.”
Speculation as to the reasons for the award are centering around the Kibo having some kind of unique feature within the space station. “My guess is that the food in the Kibo is healthier than the other food, which is probably oily and fattening,” suggested 29 year old hanko designer Yubi Hajikeru.
Other thinkers, entrepreneurs, and futurists were also focusing on superior cultural values. 19 year old student Yonaka Haishutsu offered, “Perhaps the award is simply down to the fact that everyone has to take their shoes off when they enter the Kibo section. I guess that it must be the cleanest part of the space station.”
Mina Kirai, a 37 year old Kagoshima hotel employee taking advantage of a lull in tourist trade by visiting Tokyo, said that the award should be a source of pride for all Japanese. “I’d say that the reason why we Japanese are receiving this award is due to the leadership shown by the Kibo residents. They have morning meetings where everyone sits around and agrees to do exactly what they do every day. It keeps everyone aware of what their roles are.”
Kirai was also keen to make a pre-emptive strike on expected malicious rumors on social media. “The award definitely isn’t due to them having a stack of dirty manga and uniform sex DVD’s stashed in a secret, but actually well-known place.”