Tech-Wiz quietly achieves anti-mosaic breakthrough

The tech breakthrough has been made possible thanks to modern developments in scanning and a desire to produce tangible results.

He’s 23 years old.  He lives on instant ramen, beef bowls, and convenience store bento.  He attends one of the most prestigious universities in Japan.  He’s bringing joy and pleasure to loads of people around the world.  Yet, we can’t know his name, or show him due gratitude.

We meet at an unpopular Cambodian restaurant in Takadanobaba for lunch on a Monday.  At first, Hirogari Seibyo (not his real name) is hesitant to acknowledge me.  He knows it’s me though, as I’ve told him to look for a sporty kind of westerner wearing blue jeans, white sneakers, and an Ohio State Buckeyes 2002 Champions cap.  Eventually he shuffles over and we greet each other with minimal fuss, appropriate for the situation.

Randy commuters will now have even more reason to keep their eyes glued to their mobile devices.

Seibyo has mastered the art of removing the pesky mosaic from Japanese porn, but if he were to announce himself to the world, he’d be arrested, and he would be thrown out of university while bringing shame on his apparently well-known family.  “My mother’s lover is a high-ranking bureaucrat in Kasumigaseki.  Should word get out that I’m the one responsible for the mosaic removal system, it’d make things very awkward,” he says before adding wryly, “To be honest, she’d probably choose the bureaucrat over me, and throw me under a bus.”

As Seibyo explains, this technology does not magically recover the stuff behind the mosaics.  “A neural network does its best to recreate uncensored genitals until it’s able to trick an antagonistic network that tries to tell apart censored from uncensored porn, while staying as close as possible to the initial images.”

For years tech-geeks around the world have tried all sorts of ways to decensor their treasured JAV material.

In other words, the software will try to create visuals that look the way uncensored porn would according to its models and in the way that best fits the original, mosaic impregnated, movie.  So, provided the sex is real, the decensoring is likely to come up with scenes of penetration (we’re talking majestic, fully tumescent phalli sliding into glistening honey tunnels), unless it finds no way to fit uncensored genitals in the picture.

As Seibyo is unable to make any money out of his invention, he’s urging those wishing to thank him to send funds to addiction groups such as Porn Creep Support and Masturbators Anonymous.  “They’re the real victims of the adult video industry, so it’s important that we get them the help they need.”

Sometimes, when mosaic abounds, its hard to know head or tail of what’s happening on screen.

Reaction from within the industry has so far been mixed, although some major names have tweeted positively about Seibyo’s new technology.  Bouncy actress Mamire Seishi supported him by saying, “I’m proud that all my naughty bits can now be seen. A vagina is a beautiful thing, so we should celebrate this achievement in whatever way we choose.” 

Veteran actor Kazurenai Hodo also gave Seibyo a big viral thumbs up, “So many people will benefit from this amazing technology.  He ought to receive a Nobel Prize.” Judging by the number of shares and upvotes, it seemed to sum up the views of delighted consumers throughout the world.

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